Thursday, October 13, 2011

She had gone to the same school

Today I delivered a lecture to the inmates of a rehabilitation center. Most of the inmates there were either raped or sexually abused. During the question time, one of the girls asked about the schools that I have attended. When I told them about the schools, the girl who posed the question smiled, pointed towards her friend and said "මෙයා ගිහින් තියෙන්නෙත් ඒ ඉස්කෝලෙට" [she had gone to the same school]. The smile and the eyes said, "you see, you are correct. Deeps is educated in the same school as yours"

I turned my head a little to see a sight that I would never forget. I frankly do not remember her name, but I remember her face. She had been in the same school with me, probably in the same class because the face was so familiar.

The moment was shocking for me due to two reasons.

  1. We have started our lives in the same place but today we are so different.
  2. I was delivering a lecture to a classmate of mine. My presence there was meant to be an inspiration, help or a guidance for the girls to overcome their problems. Instead, I probably would have created a fire inside my classmate-inmate :(
I did not want to talk to her because I thought it would make her sad. I did not want to make her feel small in front of me, therefore, I pretended that I did not recognize her. But in hearts, we both knew that we were once class mates.

I still do not know her story and I will never try to find it out. This blog post is just to immortalize a shocking moment of my entire life.

Rape, sexual abuse, violence are too common to talk about. But the girls who go through such experience are most of the times silent and we never know what do they have hidden inside. 

The behavior and the attitude of the most of the girls reminded me of my life after the O/L exam. I have done the exam and was waiting till the A/L classes start. That was a time I enjoyed doing a little bit of everything.

These girls are also doing a little bit of everything : cooking, making cards, learning life skills etc.  But the difference between my O/L time and their life is that they do not have a hope to cling on to. They do not have an A/L class to wait for. Some girls are already rejected from their families and some are afraid to go back to the society. The memories of the violence they experienced come back even with a very small stimuli. It truly is a hard life. 

Ok, I will never say bad about my relations. I should be happy to have them around even if they are annoying! Well that is a #NoteToSelf

I have one wish to make before I sleep today : may all the people in this world respect each other!

That will reduce the number of classmates who meet at rehabilitation centers as inmates and guest lecturers.


  1. Our so called "sacred" culture is responsible more or less for the state of their lives. Unreasonable relationship limits that put people in a silent pressure (Eg: Walking alongside with your significant-other down the road is a crime.), In cases like this, while the criminal is blamed by some and cheered by some, the victim is blamed by everyone.

    On the other hand, okay, what happened is happened. Should they spend their whole life worrying about it? Pointless! There are people who don't have their critical body parts; either by birth or by accidents - who cares about virginity?!

    You talk about families who reject them after what happened? Should simply punish them for abandoning children.

    Or may be all these are impossible in our two-thousand and five-hundred years old moronity. Then the only solution becomes let the rapers rape, let the people blame victim, shut the ____ up and get lost!

  2. Harshana WeerasingheOctober 14, 2011 at 9:53 AM

    @ budhajeewa not only culture, but most of is due to our f***ing culture, and also the religion things, issues in old peoples and politicians and consultants. just think who coming to "Doramadalaawa" program in ITN. what they saying as they didn't have a youth. from child they got older. :Pin Sri Lanka most of  politicians and consultants are old people, so u can imagine what they saying. :D 

  3. Wow... I can only imagine your shock and distress! And those poor girls... :(

  4.  It sure is one of the most unforgettable moments of your life. This is a big social issue that needs a lot of thought from everybody. One more thing, your writing style is awesome. Keep it up!
    henryblogwalker the Dude

  5. දුශ්ශන්ත දේශාන්October 17, 2011 at 10:27 AM

    What A Life?

  6. දුශ්ශන්ත දේශාන්October 17, 2011 at 10:28 AM

    what a life?

  7. this was exactly my thought !!

  8. yes dude, it was a hard shock :( and glad you like my style..KIT

  9. yeah, some of them have been living there for more than 1 year and they have no clue what happens in the outside world. it is pathetic

  10. Well, I think it will do good to both of you if you talk to her. Do it if you get a chance to go there again. It would make her feel empowered and happy.

  11. Sameera ShaakunthalaNovember 18, 2011 at 2:10 AM

    Your story just reminded me something in a flick. I have two old friends. They and I were in the same classroom for many years. But now,.... one is a jailer, and the other is a prisoner.