Sunday, November 24, 2013

To the bravest man I have ever met in a bus

Yes, you are the MAN!

I call you "the man" because you had the guts to get up and ask me that single question. The bus had stopped in the middle of the road in the busy Kadawatha town, everyone in the bus was staring at me and I was crying, yet you had the guts to ask that question.

"ඇයි අක්කේ ඔයාට මම මොනවද කලේ?"

Sorry I could not answer your question. That conductor in the bus was rude. He kicked you out of the bus before I could put a few decent words together to answer you.

Another man took your seat because you were made to get out and I was sad.

I was sad because you could not see the climax of the drama you carefully plotted. The conductor asked me, why I did not tell him of your presence. I was silent because I was so damn angry and helpless. Then he asked me why I did not tell anyone around of your intentions. I told him that everyone around saw and heard that I was uncomfortable siting there. The next question of the conductor was : "Why didn't you tell the lady sitting next to you what happened?" I told the conductor that she was informed. Then I saw her looking out of the window, dreaming, may be of the dinner that she's going to have.

So, I guess you bribed all those people in the bus, but one small question : why couldn't you bribe the conductor?

It is not just me, I have heard that you have met so many girls in the bus. At the end of the encounter, I wonder how all these girls have different stories to tell their friends. From where do you get those awesome ideas to do the same thing in so many different ways?

That day, in the Kandy - Colombo CTB, you were sitting  behind me and I was sharing the seat with a lady. As soon as I passed the Kandy Hospital, I felt that something is moving between my body and the seat on which I have reclined. I got up to see if it was a cockroach or something in the seat. Were you watching all that?

There was no cockroach and the seat was all good. I sat again and in few minutes I felt the same again. I felt something was not right and just out of curiosity looked behind. Do you remember me staring at you while the bus passed Kandy High Courts Complex? Oh, sorry, you might not have seen me as you were busy sleeping. You had your head on the back of my seat and looked tired. Your hands were anyway hidden. We all know that, when someones leans their head on the back of the seat at your front, one can hardly see your hands.

You mastermind, took advantage of that simple fact. How carefully plotted! No one would ever think that you were trying to slip your fingers through the small opening between the horizontal and vertical pieces of wood/metal that'd make up a seat in a bus.

I was angry and I took the best method possible. I talked to you. Do you remember me asking you to sleep without making me feel uncomfortable? I agree that I was bit angry in the tone. But, never thought that it would make you so pissed off. I mean did I make you angry so much that you started hitting my seat with your fist? To tell you the truth, I was petrified when you started hitting my seat. All the horror stories of guys who have killed or injured girls flashed in-front of my eyes within a few seconds.

And again, how did you manage to bribe them? All the people around enjoyed the show. They were looking on, mesmerized. Did you manage to steal that perfume from the protagonist of "Perfume"? Please answer me Mr. Unknown - I'm seriously wondering.

There are stickers saying that people like you should be reported. Heard that the police doesn't let you walk out easily. Yeah now I get it. You know how to mesmerize people. You are a master mind. So the police needs you. HR division of the Police must be monitoring the calls made by girls on issues like this. Through those calls, they can acquire the best talent in the country.  Oh hey, I remember watching a movie where a thief was hired to catch another thief. How about that?

You are a good sleeper. No matter what happens, you can sleep well and let your extended parts of the body do their own work. That is awesome. Multi taskers are the new fad. Many companies must be dying to take you in.

Oh, talking of multi-tasking, do you remember that day when I was about to spill my whole bottle of water on your head beacuse your hands were not sleeping although your eyes were? I did not do that because my brother called me just as I opened the lid of my bottle. It was my brother who saved you from having bath inside a bus climbing those Kadugannawa hills on a cold night. Think I could not tell you that before.  Please call and thank him for saving you that day.

On another note Mr.X, have you ever wondered what girls tell their friends after meeting you?

"I was so angry, I just did not know what to do"

Haven't you heard that angry people age fast? So, I guess if you continue to make your presence in the busses, all the young girls you eye would grow old soon. Alas, then the ministers would buy luxury cars with the money allocated for you by the budget.

Let alone us the girls, do you know how much our loved ones worry when we get late to come home? Fathers ask us not to come home late at night because of you. After one encounter with you, my brother prohibited me to come home on Friday nights and told me he would not open the door if I ring the door bell after nine. That was a serious fight Mr. X! I didn't go home for two consecutive Fridays because of you.

Don't you see that we get perceived by our loved ones as fragile and helpless because of you? We try to stay strong and you block our ways by being so brave.

Yeah, how can I not call you brave when you have the guts to stop your motorcycle right in front of my house and utter some filth and fly while my father  was waiting in the other side  till I cross the road?

When I was schooling, I talked to you only in English to show others that I know English. During those times, you flew away at my English but now you do not. Let alone English, now you do not even care about French.

You have grown. You have learned new tricks. Above all you have learnt the art of bribing people. Or do you think that a girl without a university T-shirt or a school uniform is an easy catch?

Whatever it is, dear Mr. X, you are remembered : for your bravery, courage, intelligence and above all the ability to make a girl mentally very unstable.

Yeah, I must tell you this : after I met you in that Kandy - Colombo CTB bus, I hallucinate.

Whenever I fall sleep in a bus, I wake up feeling that you are sitting behind me. Sometimes, I wonder whether it is just telepathy as all the girls are friends if you are in the other side of the battle line.

So, Mr. X, this is the question I'm dying to know the answer for. You may Ignore all the questions in the post and please answer this so that I can sleep in peace.

"With what did you bribe that guy in the checked shirt to laugh at me while I was crying in anger - helpless and alone in a bus full of humans?"


  1. is this true story?

  2. carry a body spray with you and spray the dude right in his eyes, and say "sorry i didn`t see you, thought there was a cockroach" ...i know its easier said than done but its high time you stand up to them. i had a friend who carried a scissor with her and used to hold it and say in a loud voice "kapanawa" :) true story-and it worked all the time

  3. Lol, yours is a funny story but, hidden beneath it lies a story that is too disturbing to think about.

    Yeah, mate, it is easier said than done.

    I used to talk right in the face of these maniacs but now I'm afraid.

    Imagine a guy hitting your seat like crazy cz you asked him to behave well and the worst part of it was the whole bus watching it :(

  4. You are lucky. Bcz that person was kicked out of the bus. 5 years ago in Colombo I met with a worst incident. one of those maniacs showed his genitals to me while he was "trying" to sit next to me. I was horrified, too shocked and scared to talk, all I could do was crying. When the conductor asked what happened, I just couldn't talk. No one in the bus spoke a word against him. I was too young, didn't know what to do. and i had to travel in the same bus with him from Thimbirigasyaya to maharagama. It was one of the worst experiences I've ever had in my life

  5. ගංඟාවේ ගීතයDecember 4, 2013 at 1:42 PM

    Hay waiting to see your sinhala post.. badly

    BTW these type of people need medical treatments including those who are just watching & laughing!

  6. Hi... Deeps
    Couple of weeks ago this thing happened at the university of colombo faculty of medicine. I didn't see the incident but i heard it from one of my friend. One of the senior person who is working at lab try to touch and kiss a young newly appointed girl.That happen after office she had to stay for some work and that bugger came behind her and touch her belly and kiss the neck.

    After that she made a complain.But nothing happened she has to resign the Government job and go back with empty hand. That bugger is still working like nothing happened.

    I can not see any justice around now.